Upright with Reality

Since we came back from the holiday, we all have been so busy. I said all, because not only me or Steph but the kids as well. Each of us has his own task to attend to and I have been so wondering lately.

In fact, everyone else is so busy, it is often difficult to find time to spend together as a family.  With spouses working, kids rushing off to "after school activities", watching tv or working on the computer, family time has to be managed efficiently.

As parents, we all struggle to do what is best for our children and we worry about them.  The good news is that our kids recognize what really matters foremost in their lives - family, friends and time. As parents we have redefined what family time means to us. What really counts is not the quantity but rather the quality of time we spend with the family.  Everyday, I go to the office with my kids, I work in the same school where they go. A little cuddle in the car on the way to school is really a precious time together. A small talk on the way home about their days' activities while on the traffic is also time spent with them.

A small walk with Alex, I love this time with him

Many of us get so wrapped up with our day-to-day lives that we sometimes neglect those most important to us - our family members. Working or not working, days fill up fast. For non working moms, time between grocery shopping, getting the house running smoothly, driving children to extra curricular activities and games practise and simply keeping soccer and tennis uniforms clean, time disappears so quickly. And for me, a working mother, work demands, managing the household chores and outside obligations just get in the way in as much as I have people around me. If I let it, this can become a vicious cycle and soon we will realize our children have grown up before our very eyes. Slowly, the reality is spread widely in front of me.  What do I do?

Since I started working, I have programmed my day quite efficiently.  Although there will be days I have gone over the boundaries of my time to be spent with them. Like this week, it has been a full scale days. Colleen is almost 16 years old and our Alexandre will be 13 years old soon.  Depending on our work demands, we normally set aside specific times to get together with them - a cuddle in front of the tv, dinner together while talking, asking them about their day and sincerely listening to what they have to tell us.  When they are in front of the tv, I retire to my computer or take a short nap. If not in front of the tv, Colleen and Alex just talk and joke together. They love each other's company. They are so close.  They know when its time to do their assignments. Sometimes we play cards before bedtime or the two boys spend time playing, tickling, making jokes and laughing while colleen and I just make guzzi guzzi. Right now, Steph is with them watching tv while am here and will join them soon.  This ends our day.

But how do we start our day? Each of us has direction to go on working days. This means, kids to school, me and Steph to our work.. The only thing we tried not to forget is to make a point that part of our day is delegated to getting involved in our kids'' activities. Colleen is more independent but Alex still needs a good supervision.

On weekends, we do give them their privacy. They like to spend time with friends on Friday, either on the pool, eat lunch, play tennis or pingpong together while Steph and I spend time together ALONE.  I believe that spending time with the family does not just mean "with the kids". Steph and I have more time together, either alone or with friends or play tennis or just simply watching a movie when kids are in bed or go dancing. But most of all, we love to call each other during office hours specially if we are both feeling sleepy. So to wake us up, we chat until we are warmed with what we have been talking and... back to work.

To sum this up, despite of my filled up days, am grateful that Steph is always there taking care of the kids. He is very supportive. It's much nicer when am around but for as long as we are aware of time spent to each of our family, things will go smoothly. Just the consciousness that each exist is a big deal.

Steph is so much conscious of time spent with us and when I tell him, I will not be home for lunch, he says "grabe"  in the tiny tone of a learned Ilonggo but he will add "travaille bien" with a smile tone.  It gives a lot of comfort knowing  his flexibility but I overdo it this week and I have to go now. They are waiting. 

How about you ladies, how do you spend time with the family?

 

 

Bonjour ddhai Phoebz,
Wow! Alex is no longer a baby anymore. Ulitawing na gyod dhai..Dili na madugay!
I love that cute photo of yours with him strolling around in the city, having fun with each other..That´s very memorable! Maurag brods and sis like ba..it´s great!
It´s really nice to see Collen and Alex na they´re enjoying each other. Makikita na close na close sila dalawa. They are both happy lucky kids having a parents like you dhai and Steph, i´m sure..
Thanks for sharing all these..Enjoy ko basa day! Though wala ko anak, pero mafeel baya nako imo lots of joy and happines as a mother.

Hugz!

Guten Morgen Dhay pres, aba first honor gyud ka ron ah. am in the office and saw ur post,thanks,tinuod bitaw dhay, they are very close, hasta ron they love to sleep in the same room even if each have their own room. Maggunitay kamot before sleeping. usahay we arrived after dining out, their hands are still clasped to each other. this scene is touching gyud sa amo ni steph, anyway, have a good day

Ours naman we tried our best to spend time as much as we can. I get up 4:30 am, first thing I do, I go to Julie's bedroom snuggle her at least 10 mines. Get ready myself and wake her up. When she was in elementary Tom dropped her off to the childcare, little time daddy & daughter and they both happy. We do call each other when we get bored and meet up for lunch sometimes. Way before, he didn't get a promotions because for not working overtime. During that time I am working OT also. Our first priority is family. We just can't let Julie stay at the childcare after 4:30, she gets off school at 3:45 not really long to stay but she already have a long day just like us. Tom was really disappointed didn't get the promotion thought the company is a family friendly, guess not. But for him not working overtime is all worth it, family comes first. So much to write, all in all we spend our time together as much as we can. Very satisfy and very happy.

Take care Phoebz, hello to all you love ones there. Have a great day.

Hi Phoebes, nice pics, love the one with the family and the pic of you and Steph. That's very true what you said, sometimes we get caught up with work and other things that we don't have enough time to spend with the family. Even though I'm not working, sometimes there are too many things to do around the house that I forget to play with Tyler. He'll come to me looking for attention and stand beside me asking to be picked up. Then I'll remember that I have to stop what I'm doing and play with him, chores can wait. Now with Tim working a different schedule, he makes it a point to spend time with the kids on his days off. We still need to work on finding time for the two of us though, next month we'll go to a concert for the first time in 7 years. We used to go to concerts a lot while dating but it stopped when Amber was born. Thanks for this Phoebes.

Hi carlots, I did not know you are an energetic woman, waking up so early. That's good, you could surely achieve a lot in a day. I guess, being aware that they are there helps. Knowing where they are at certain moments is good kahit busy. Thanks for your input Mme.

Mme Babette, feel strange to call u with that name..hmnn. Yah, at least I noticed when I lack time with them. I know where they are by minute but I would prefer to be with them if possible. And lately, am wrking straight missing lunch with them and I feel guilty but I make it up when am home. Good that you do that to Tyler, true, chores can wait. He is a baby, he will be there when you are free. Now ours is different, it happened, am around kids have something, if they are home mommy is in the office. so it feels different because we are use to really spending time together on off hours. Glad you like the idea. thanks for interacting.

Dhay phoebes, i truly admire the mother & son/mother & daughter closeness you have/had with colleen and alex. me, i am trying too with alyssa.. but murag mas close man jud cya sa iya papa kaysa iya maman oi:-(. anyway, ok ra naku kay she's very calines man sab to both of us, which is good:)thanks for the post.. Love that pic of you & stèph super sweet:)

hi dhay phoebs,,,,spending time with the family? i may say, before when theyre tots and grades school, that was my happiness, when i think it over, they needs me very much, they´re depending ón me so much. But now, i am alone, everybody is in their room, busy with their PC,telephone,TV,Music,chatting...no more Mama....And my man too, when he arrived we ate together, talked a little bit, what´s going on the DAy....watching the TV news, then going in his room, while he has to do, extra job...and me,of course? na ja, clean the kitchen then go in my laptop too....right after the school, the kids do their own homeworks, go alone in their extra activities with their bikes....Weekend? Kim has always appointment during Saturday and sunday, with her music n Dancing course...Sascha? mostly, sleep or anybody sleep by us...and sunday, he has football, go together with his papa,while he can´t yet drive...but i know in a yr. he go alone....And me? again in my laptop.....Sleep too late, and my Man too...Sometimes, I would say...nice when the kids are still young and needs me, I am really missed it...where they always says me: MAMA; PLEASE HELP ME; MAMA CAN´T YOU PLEASE DO THIS; MAMA CAN I DO THIS OR MAMA IT IS THIS GOOD/ADVISABLE?::::ALL MAMA....but now, they´re only needs me or ask me, if really they can´t do it or needs financially...
Sometimes, i say, better there is no PC or the things, they or make us busy....busy alone....But sometimes, thanks there is PC---internet world....When not or I can´t do PC, WHAT A BORING LIFE:ANYWAY........
Na ja, I told this to bernie, I say, we have no more communciations or TOGETHERNESS, he agree too, but it can´t be also that we are always together...boring man pod diay........hahahahah
So now, I must understand and accept everything....the days are not always the same.......Ach ja, that is why bernie, try his best that when the kids have no school/vacation, he´s also free,cause this is the time we are all together,together and n

na i talked too much here, that is why, i was cut-off...lol...
I may understand everything, as long there is Love,Peace,Respect and Care in our Family...we love each others....right?
And Pray to God that He gives us his Blessing.......

Hi Pheobe, I'm really enjoy reading your family time together and it remind us parent has to do this for the sake of our family and kids. Our we always spent time together by watching TV the 3 of us even Andrew watching his own channel. We go to see a movie that for we like jsut for family time. Sometimes we're hiding and seek around the house and pretend camping because that what Andrew likes. Sometimes Andrew and his daddy hide and under the blanket and had to look for them. Andrew loves this game very much. HE call me monster mommy come. he scrame I got too close not even find them yet. I think this part of closeness as a family. I use to spent a lot of time in pc,but my new resolution is has to spend alot of time with family first cost Andrew is growing up and I dont want to miss. During the day. He goes to school and pick him up and aske me if we could go to play Mcdonald only if he dont have karate, but sometimes he played scooby doo online either kenny or me, but most of the time with kenny. Now we are planning to rent a cabin somewhere so we can go on the weekend. We found one, but I dont like because no light, bathroom, heater and water we had to bring to wood. so I told kenny we had to find other places. About us kenny and I we usually got out dinner together and go to see movie and I think that was our missing each other it because its hard to find babysitter that we can trust other than my sister in law. When I was working I was feeling guilty because I am having hard time to spent time with my son and family and I try hard during the day I sleep few ours and take Andrew somewhere ,but until I was very sick kenny said, I had to stop working and wait until Andrew in first grade and his complaining both of them having hard time without me at night. So I had to stop working, can't wait to go back to work. I am hoping to get a job in school so when Andrew came home I'm home also and be with him during the time. I told kenny we will be planning a lot of vacat

Hi Phoebe, I enjoyed your post very much - it is so true. I'm a middle-aged Filipina living in Northern California. I got your page from Carlota's and I'm also a friend of Margie's. My kids are older than yours, but even at this stage, I agree that it is very important to spend time with family. I plan to email you a more lengthy message so you will know me more, as I don't have a page (yet). Thanks for this very important post. Take care and God bless! :)

hello phoebe thank you for stopping by my journal we finally meet on the web...well i heared so about you, how wonder lady you are from carlota i'm a friend of her...i will add you on my friends list and you can do the same..like i said thank you and come back again.enjoy your week

ay missing letter...how wonderful lady you are

Hi Phoebs,
Nice photo here..and the kids are growing esp.your dalaga..she is so beautiful..ours is mostly weekends...we make the most of it...spending more time although there are times na medyo tight ang schedule ni hubby coz of being on call at the hospital sometimes...but we are trying....for the two of us also...early morning when my little one is still in bed..usually maaga kaming magising..so we spent time watching tv and a cup of coffee...was just perfect for us...have a little talk...thanks for sharing this and take care.Thank you for dropping by in my place.

Hi Phoebe, I read all your response sa message ko . Thanks ah, na enjoy lang pod ko basa basa . I went back sa site nyo, I can still see the IFW logo there, pero no longer nato kay ga ilis-ilis ko eh, ma bored ko usahay abi eh . Anyway, I agree with you on the spending time with our family, na it's not how often you spend time together as a family but how quality are the times you spend together. My husband always tells me na I should spend time often eh, ma bored ko kong sa bahay lagi... . What matters lagi ang when you have fun spending it and how much you enjoy the time . Nice post ni, thanks for sharing. Oy, inyo mga bata, sos ka dalagko na no? Mga tag-as pagid. Tall kids, good looking pa, like the parents, of course . Keep up the fun, your family is great, you are a happy go lucky family, kahit saan always loving and happy.

Dhay Ams,thanks baya pod, sige lang basta mo cuddle siya nimo always, kaliti lang og estorya when she is with you. Colleen bitaw is closer to her dad than Alex. Kaning akong boy if he has something, he ask mommy. I don't always give what he asked but I give him a good deal. he still like a lot the guzzzi guzzi in the back. Your dalaga is so tall na gyud, is she taller now than you?

Vk, ur are right, kids are much better when they are smaller coz, mo rely gyud sila nimo and u can make lots of huggings, when they are big na, limited na pod. Pero god pod na dhay kay kon naa si bernie, you can all have fun. thanks for your long posts. I enjoyed it, mura naa ra gyud ka sa akon tubangan.

Hi Nina, welcome dhay, how are you diyan? thanks for your inputs and great, sure share us more tips about raising the kids. just email me have a good weekend

Hi lanie, musta diyan, ok naman iyan dhay as long as you spend time together. Kon minsan malimited nga iyan pero you are trying your best so it will happen, there you are, you know you need to be with them. Just keep up with the pace of Andrew. Enjoy the weekends and thanks a lot for your post.

Hi Kookie, welcome dhay and thanks for dropping by. Oh dear Carlots, yah, you are blessed to have her near, how I wish for that. I did see your photos in Carlot's journal and you seem to have fun together. nakakaaliw din ang sweetness ninyo diyan. am happy for Carlot to have you too. it's nice to finally met you. Take care and enjoy the weekends.

Hi che, thanks for the compliments and your input dhay. tama ka, as long as you can spend time together it doesnt matter how little as long you have the most of it. that's good if you manage it, it feels good pa rin di ba? ingat che and thanks again

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